I'm not sure I've ever faced nemeses so fierce as my stupid fucking hippie neighbors, whose apartment has, in the two-plus years I've lived here, alternately smelled like cat pee and pot. I don't know if they've lost their jobs or come down with cancer or what, but lately their place smells so strongly of weed that I find myself longing for the halcyon days of eau de cat pee.
Listen, I truly believe it's everyone's god given right to smoke pot once in a while. I mean, I never really cared for those days when the hall smelled like a dorm, but whatever. There are certain concessions one must make when one lives in an apartment building.
Over the last few weeks, though, it hasn't been just the hall. I smell it in my own apartment now all the time. (This on the third floor, while my nemeses are two floors down!) And the frequency has increased from just a few nights a week to every blessed day, even in the MORNING. This not only makes me crazy but, worse, it has been giving me headaches and making me nauseous. And since I work from home it is relentless.
So, you guys, help me out. I know I sound like a big jerk but I'm going crazy here. Does anyone have any advice for how to deal with this situation? I'm at my wit's end.
7 comments:
I suggest a well placed anonymous note and perhaps a gas mask thingy wrapped up all pretty for 'em.
Stealthily, leave a bag filled with dryer sheets, paper towel/toilet paper rolls, and a bag of rubber bands on their doorknob.
Or leave a note asking them to go back to the cat urine smell.
WM: haha, I don't even know what that means. Are those, like, the makings of some kind of MacGyver Febreeze bong? Because you know I like crafts.
Aimes: I would leave a signed note--or even talk to them!--if I were a little less vain. It pains me to be the douche neighbor. What's next, asking the kids to turn down their music?
I've just about resigned myself to getting one of those air filtration devices. I wonder if they work?
Not to be a nerd, but they really help with my allergies (those filtration devices). I don't know what they would do for the smell.
I would never have believed that these work, but they work for me. They clear the air from cooking smoke, they calm my allergies to mold and they're pretty too.
http://www.signals.com/signals/Home-Garden_1EA/Lighting_1EK/Item_Natural-Salt-Tea-Light-Holder_HG1652_ps_cti-1EK.html
You're right on with MacGyver. With a google image search, I learned they are called sploofs.
http://www.thehomegrown.com/article/smoking-devices/how-to-make-a-sploof.html
They could easily be Martha-ized by wrapping the tube in fabric, tying on the dryer sheet with ribbon, or even hemp cord!
You should really think of a way to thank your neighbors for giving you such a wonderful crafterunity. I suggest homemade brownies.
V: I like the way you think. But if I fight the smelly hippies with hippie crystals, do you think the world will implode?
WM: I am seriously, seriously considering this sploof project. Perhaps with a nice batch of poison brownies!
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