the prestige

As I approach my 32nd birthday, I am forced to face certain facts. Tonight, watching a movie with friends, I realized just how much I become more like my mother with each passing day. One of my mother's core characteristics is that she does not understand films. Any films. At all. So this is the first of what I suspect will be a series of posts continuing her proud tradition of just not knowing WTF happens in a given movie.

This is all to say that, four years past the 2006 release date of The Prestige, I have some pressing questions:

1. I gather David Bowie plays the real-life rival of Thomas Edison, Russian Ricky Gervais. Why would you put a treasure like David Bowie in your movie and make him look like this?

This is Bowie to Bowie: you look like a puffy twat.

2. Why does Christian Bale seem extra hot when he's all fat and talking like somefing off the estate?

3. Is it still okay to find Christian Bale hot after that whole thing where he beat up his mum or whatever?

4. Whoa, Wikipedia tells me Gloria Steinem is Christian Bale's stepmother! So maybe it's okay to think he's hot?

5. So...Russian Ricky Gervais creates a teleportation machine?

6. Oh, wait, it's a clone machine?

7. And all Hugh Jackman clones must be murdered? Or somefing?

I feel like every Christopher Nolan movie ever is basically a psychotic pissing contest. And, you know, that's awesome, but it's just not enough.